How it should have been
by emily.g.thorne
Summary: Part 2 of DEAR OLIVER. A series of connecting moments including flashbacks in more detail from Dear Oliver and much much more.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I wish I did but sadly I don't. **

* * *

Chapter 1: When did you know and simple as that

The first time Diggle realised there was something between the two of them happened to be the very first time he saw Oliver Queen smile. Not the false smile the real one, the one reserved for very few people. Oliver's care for Felicity was obvious right from the very start and by the look on Felicity's face she was smitten from the moment she met Oliver.

It took for Oliver leaving for Diggle to realise how much Oliver really meant to Felicity. She had been devastated but more determined than he had ever seen anyone to find him. She worked on the lair while she searched for Oliver sometimes barley sleeping. She had worried Diggle so much. Then Felicity found him. When Diggle first heard off her plan to get to the island he had been so against it but she had level him with a glared that would revival the arrow himself and told him she was going with or without his help. That's when he realised it, Felicity was more than just smitten with Oliver. She was in love with him.

It was hard to see with Oliver. His care for Felicity was prominent for all too see. But it took until the Count 2.1 incident for Diggle to realise that Oliver was just as in love with her as she was with him. Oliver had always been overprotective of Felicity but Diggle had brought that down to the fact that bringing Felicity into the team hadn't really been a choice it was a necessity. But the Count 2.1 incident had shown that Oliver would move heaven and earth to protecting, even if that meant breaking a promise to his best friend and killing someone in the process.

Over there years together Diggle had seen the ups and downs of their relationship and many things had changed but there love for each other hadn't if anything it had got stronger.

Oliver Queen loved Felicity Smoak and she in turn loved him it was as simple as that.

* * *

Thea was a perceptive person, to survive the world of the rich you had to be. But in all honest it wasn't that hard to see.

From the day that Thea meant Felicity she knew that the women loved her brother. Felicity had ultimately given up her life in order for her brother to live his. Friends help you deal with your life they don't give up everything in their life just so you can live yours but ultimately that's what Felicity did. She had always liked Felicity right from the very moment she met her, she was sweet and smart at least she was until it came to Ollie. Thea had originally felt bad for the women. Just another women who would never get the attention of Oliver Queen but then she saw it.

She was having dinner with her mother and brother when her mother had brought up Felicity at the time she had no idea why but now she knew it was the same day Ollie told her mother that they no longer had a relationship. Her mother had blamed Felicity and when she had slated her during dinner her brother stood up instantly with a glare filled with such anger.

"What's wrong dear?" their mother asked.

Thea remembered the look of contempt in her brother eyes.

"Mother Felicity is my friend and a very good one at that, not only that she is one of the most amazing women I have ever met." Ollie started.

His eyes glazed over as he spoke.

"She is kind, sweet, smart, funny, brave and ten times the women you are, so if you ever speak about her in front of me again I promise I will never speak to you again." Oliver concluded and before anyone could reply he was gone.

From that moment on Thea saw it. They had conversations without really speaking. She could make him laugh and smile. He always stood in front of her as if he was trying to protect her from and unknown enemy.

The more time Thea spent with them the clearer it was to see.

Felicity Smoak loved Oliver Queen and he in turn loved her, it was as simple as that.

* * *

Sara loved Felicity, she was adorable and right from the very start Felicity had made her feel welcome. Even after Sara started dating Oliver, Felicity never let of obvious feelings for Oliver get in the way of their friendship. Felicity listen to her worries, supported her like no friend ever had.

Sara was ashamed to admit how long it took her to realise that Felicity's feelings weren't one-sided. It had been a long day and even longer night that had got longer when Felicity was dragged out of the van she had been in to gain better access while they were on a mission. To this day Sara still remembered the scream of pure fear that had echoed through the comms and how her heart dropped for fear for her friend.

"Felicity where too?" Oliver had asked.

"Take next left, then when you get to the..." Felicity replied but stop short and before Oliver could press her for more information her scream irrupted through the comms.

"Felicity?" Oliver yelled into the comms, his feet already moving with purpose in Felicity's direction, the mission long forgotten.

They could hear rustling, they could help mumbling but nothing else.

Oliver moved faster than Sara had ever seen him, both her and Diggle following. When they arrived there was no sign of Felicity. Oliver had been furious, they all were but she had never seen Oliver so mad before. When they found Felicity almost two painstakingly long hours later, she was on her knees in a warehouse their target standing next to her, pressing a gun into her temple with such force Sara had known it would leave a make.

Sara remembered Oliver's devastated face, how he begged for Felicity's life. Felicity tried to give them a reassuring smile but her unknown source of pain was clear to see. Oliver made a sound of extinguish that she had never heard before and by the look of hurt on his face, it was like his whole world was falling apart and Sara knew there was nothing Oliver wouldn't do to get her back to him.

Everything feel into place for Sara then; all the touching, all the conversations without really speaking, his constant concern over her. She expected to feel hurt that the man she loved was in love with someone else but she didn't if anything she felt relief. She loved Oliver she did but Oliver was just as dark as she was and they both deserved some light and Sara had no doubt in her mind that Felicity was that person for Oliver.

From that night on Sara knew that Oliver Queen was undoubtedly in love with Felicity Smoak and she in-turn loved him it was as simple as that.

* * *

When Roy joined the team he had originally believed the two of them were an item, after all they did do everything together. If Oliver need anything Felicity would be there and whenever she need him Oliver didn't hesitate. It took Roy walking in on Oliver with Sara to come to the realisation that they weren't actually sleeping together. Roy had always thought it was a shame. Felicity was an amazing person and he liked her because not only was she always nice to him but she always manage to talk Oliver into being reasonable.

For someone who talked a lot, Felicity barely gave any information about her private life away. She babbled and gave unintentional sexual innuendoes almost as much as she breathed but none of them knew anything about her family other than her father abandoned her and she was Jewish. To the outside world she was Oliver Queens sexy EA who the tabloids believe was pinning to be with him, to them though she was brilliant hacker with a heart of gold that she had unfortunately given to Oliver Queen. It hadn't taken long for Roy to figure out that Felicity was crazy about Oliver, Roy often wished she hadn't. It wasn't because he didn't believe Oliver and Felicity would be good together because if he was honest he knew they would it was mainly because he hated watching how hurt she looked whenever Oliver openly showed his affection towards Sara or Laurel.

Roy new that Oliver cared about Felicity from the very beginning of his time with team arrow. Whenever he got angry Oliver first instinct had always been to cover Felicity. But the first time Roy realised that Oliver's affection for Felicity was just as strong as her for him was the first time he had ever since Felicity in the field. They need her to hack into a targets computer but to do that she need access to the computer, which meant field work. Oliver had argued that he or Sara could do it but Felicity had just rolled her eyes.

"When you can hack into a mainframe, search for evidence of gun smuggling, and then delete all knowledge of you ever being there in less than three minutes, fill free to fire me." Felicity told him seriously and before anyone could reply she went off to get ready.

Oliver let out a long breath. They all knew she was right. While Sara was good with computers she was no Felicity and none of the rest of them stood any chance of doing what needed to be done.

Oliver worried and angry.

"She'll be ok." Diggle had told him, but Oliver shook his head.

"What if she not?" Oliver asks.

"I can't lose her." He adds.

Roy frowned because while Roy always knew Oliver was fond of Felicity talking to them so openly about his concern for her is something Roy has never seen and by the look in Sara face she is in the same boat as him.

"You won't she will be in one of our eyesight at all time." Diggle promised.

When Felicity came out of the bathroom she looked stunning, she wore a royal blue dress with a sweetheart neckline that was tight till her waist then fell gracefully to the floor.

"So how do look?" Felicity asked.

"You look beautiful." Diggle supplied.

Felicity smiled.

"Good." Felicity replied before shaking her head.

"I mean that that it's not that I want to look good for a drug dealer, I mean cause we need him to like me but I don't really want him to like me." Felicity add in a rushed breath before closing her eyes and taking a long breath.

She was nervous it was clear. Oliver approached her his hand went to her shoulder and Felicity opened her eyes.

Oliver shook his head.

"You don't have to do this." he told her softly.

Felicity gave Oliver a sad smile.

"I have to do this, we need me to do this." Felicity reminds him.

Oliver shakes his head again.

"Will find another way." Oliver suggested but Felicity shook her head.

"I will be fine Oliver." She told him.

Oliver sighed frustrated.

"I can't lose you." he says his voice serious and sharp.

Felicity smiles sadly and gently puts a hand on to his chest. It shouldn't look intimate but somehow it does and Roy can't help but feel he is invading their privacy.

"I'll be fine because you'll be there watching my back." she tells him softly.

The way they talk to each other is almost like they don't see anyone else. Oliver and Felicity had a world of their own. She was his guiding light, teaching him what was right and what was wrong in a world full of bad and he need her so much more than she need him.

He listen to her words above anyone else.

Roy enjoyed watching the two of them interact it was like a never ending circle they would get unbelievable close then Oliver was push Felicity away, she would get hurt or upset and he would bring her right back again. Roy hoped that one day either Oliver would give them a chance or that Felicity had the strength to finally let Oliver go.

Being in team Arrow taught Roy lots of things but the one fact Roy could never forget was the fact that Felicity Smoak loved Oliver Queen and he in turn was completely lost in his love for her it was as simple as that.

* * *

Laurel Lance knew Oliver had a thing for his assistant from the moment she joined them in team arrow and she hated it. It wasn't because she disliked Felicity because she didn't, if anything she really liked Felicity it was hard not to. But that didn't mean that she liked that the two of them were practically inseparable.

Laurel was one of the first people to realise that Oliver was in love with Felicity before she knew Felicity loved Oliver. If she really thought about it, it was probably because she knew Oliver better than most. The first time she noticed it was they were coming up with a plan to stop Slade, Felicity had offered herself up as bait and Laurel had never seen Oliver move so fast. He was over to her in a second his eyes burning into eyes.

"No." his voice was fierce and serious with no room for arguing.

Felicity just rolled her eyes. If anyone else had been given that tone they would have back down instantly but Felicity never back down at least not when it came to Oliver.

Oliver grabbed her arms gently but firmly.

"I'm serious, I want you as far away from him as you can get." Oliver told her determinedly.

Laurel hated how when Oliver and Felicity talked it was like no one else was in the room, it made her realise how much Oliver had really changed.

When Oliver found out that Felicity had gone to Slade willingly in order to protect him, was when Laurel really new. He had been so angry and so worried he didn't care about anything other than Felicity. She had tried to talk him out of going alone but Oliver hadn't even acknowledged her presents it hurt but at the time she understood. Now thought she knew he was no longer her Ollie he was Felicity's Oliver.

The more time Laurel spent with team arrow the more Laurel realised that Oliver feelings were definitely not one sided. Felicity did everything for Oliver, she helped him be the best person he could be. The person Laurel had known he could always be but had never been able to bring out of him. Felicity made Oliver a hero. It hurt watching them together because no matter how much Oliver pushed Felicity away Laurel knew Oliver well enough to know that soon or later they would be together. But still Laurel couldn't bring herself to walk away.

Laurel knew that Oliver Queen loved Felicity Smoak and she in turn loved him it was as simple as that.

* * *

Detective Lance couldn't help but love Felicity Smoak like a daughter. He always found it funny how once upon a time he had been determined to lock her away for aiding the arrow. Now though he would happily take down anyone that dared to hurt her including the arrow if he had his way. After he found out that Felicity's own father had abandoned her as a child his need to protect her had become more apparent.

He hated that Felicity worked for the arrow because she was constantly in danger and although the arrow had promised him time and time again not only in his words but in his actions too that he would protect Felicity he still couldn't help but worry about the young women. But she was doing good for this city and Lance knew there is no way she would stop.

Lance remembered the first time he ever realised that the arrow and Felicity were in love with each other. It had been a particularly bad week, Lance was working with team arrow to track down a serial rapist and since Sara was out of town Felicity had offered herself as bait and when the arrow had told him the plan Lance wanted to kill him. But Felicity was so determined she wanted this man stopped at any cost. He was on edge as he watched her from his car, Mr Diggle the arrow's right hand man was on edge too. The arrow hid in the shadows not far from her. He listened to them talk her voice showed her fear. The arrow whispered words of encouragements and promise that he would keep her safe. It was going well until it wasn't and while the arrow got delayed stopping a mugging their target had taken Felicity they could hear her screams and her begging for help. When they finally found her she was held against a wall her lip split a bruise forming around her left eye. The target held her by her throat with one hand while the other hand tore at her clothes. To this day Lance still remembers the cry of extinguish that escaped the arrows mouth before he unloaded hell on their target ripping him away from Felicity and throwing him until the nearest wall. Lance had gathered the girl in his arms while Mr Diggle checked her over. He could hear the grunts and shouts of agony from behind him but looking down at Felicity trembling in his arms he couldn't bring himself to care. Felicity had moved out his arms visible shaking. The way she looked at the arrow with such worry.

"Please don't." Felicity screamed.

"Not for me." she begged.

The arrow froze. He turned to face her. Lance looked briefly at their target he was badly beaten but still breathing.

The arrow moved cautiously towards Felicity.

"I am so sorry." he told her.

Felicity shook her head.

"It's not your fault." she promised him.

The arrow gently cupped her face gently tracing the outlines of her bruises.

"He hurt you." The arrow whispered painfully.

The rage was still prominent in the arrows voice. The arrow moved back towards their target but Felicity pulled him back.

"Please, I just want to go home." she begged.

The arrow looked across at Mr Diggle.

"No." Felicity stated before anyone could say anything.

She put her arms round the arrows waist and he wasted no time in crushing her to him, her body shook as she cried into his chest.

"I want you to take me home please?" she begged.

The arrow pressed a kiss into her hair.

"Ok." he whispered.

The arrow looked over at him and Mr Diggle.

"Take care of her." Lance called over to them.

"I will." The arrow replied.

"Call me if you need anything." Mr Diggle ordered.

The arrow nodded before gently picking Felicity up and cradling in his arms, as they disappeared from sight Lance walked over to their target.

"So how long have they been in love with each other?" Lance asked Mr Diggle over his shoulder.

Mr Diggle snorted.

"It seems like forever." Mr Diggle replied absently.

Lance smiled before sobering.

"He will take care of her won't he?" Lance asked he knew deep down the arrow would but he had to ask.

Diggle smiled.

"There is nothing that man wouldn't do for her." Mr Diggle replied.

That's the moment Lance knew that Felicity Smaok was in love with the arrow and he in turn loved her dearly, it was as simple as that.

* * *

Felicity didn't believe in love, at least she didn't until she met Oliver Queen. Love to Felicity was something that lead to heartache and abandonment. All her life every person Felicity had ever loved abandoned her. Her father, her mother, her college boyfriend, her best friend. Her mother may not have left her physically but she was emotionally gone and that hurt just as much. But then she met Oliver and with him Diggle, Sara, Roy, Thea, Detective Lance and even Laurel. Bit by bit they tore down her walls, showing how just how good it felt to be loved and cared about, and no one more so than Oliver. He offered her a life outside her comfort, a chance to do good and Felicity couldn't be more grateful.

Felicity had always been aware that she had feelings towards Oliver but when he left after Tommy's death she realised just how much he really meant to her and if she was honest she had never been more scared of anything in her entire life.

Sometimes she wished she had the strength to walk away from him. Being around him and watching him with other women hurt but not matter how badly it hurt the idea of being without him in her life was something she couldn't comprehend. Oliver gave her a life. He gave her a family and even if he didn't return her affection he had given her someone to love because she loved Oliver Queen undoubtedly it was as simple as that and there was nothing she could do about it.

* * *

Oliver wasn't an idiot, he knew Felicity was beautiful and yes he often thought about what it would be like to have her. To hold her in his arms. To kiss her colour mouth. To make her gasp his name in pleasure over and over again. But Felicity was more than that, she deserved more than that. Oliver knew there was something more to their relationship. He understood her reaction to Isabel and his reaction to Barry because if he was honest and let himself really think about it he wanted her just as much as she wanted him. But she needed to be safe so that meant they couldn't be together in that capacity. He sometimes forgot that they couldn't be together and found himself pulling her in but then his brain would catch up with him and he was push her away again. He hated doing that because he could see how hurt and confused she was by his actions. He hated putting her life at risk but she was defiant and so determined that it was her life and her choice. Deep down he knew she was right but that didn't mean he had to like it because losing Felicity was unthinkable and everyone in team arrow knew losing her would kill him.

Felicity had always been so incredible from the moment they met, she offered him guidance out of his darkness with her light with her words of wisdom that had taught him so much and had made him want to be the best version of himself. She made him the hero and he stayed that hero for her.

Oliver loved Felicity Smoak and not matter how hard he tried for her shake there was nothing he could do to stop it. It was as simple as that.

* * *

**Hey everyone so this chapter is mainly about setting the scene in a way for the rest of this series. The rest of the chapters will included flashbacks from my Dear Oliver series with some changes and will include many more scenes in between. If there are any missing scenes from Dear Oliver you would like me to cover just let me know. Ok anyway hope you enjoy xx**


	2. First kiss

First kiss

Oliver paced restlessly. He hated this. Felicity was the best of them and using her in the field bothered him more than it should. He knew with the three of them they could keep her safe but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"Everything's going to be fine." Diggle told him.

"It's not like she has to do anything but cover you tonight." Roy pointed out.

Oliver glared at him, but Roy wasn't wrong tonight he just needed someone to cover for him while he broke into their targets office and steal his books. He hoped he could take Sara with him tonight but Sara was out of town visiting her mum and as Felicity reminded him Oliver Queen CEO couldn't be seen without a date. Which is how he got here waiting for her to finish getting ready.

Roy held up his hands in mock surrender.

Oliver opened his mouth to comment when the bathroom door opened. Oliver looked over just as Felicity stepped out and his mouth dropped open.

Oliver wasn't blind he knew Felicity was pretty but in this moment he didn't think he had seen anyone more beautiful. She wore a simple floor length royal blue gown that made the blue of her eyes pop. The sweetheart neckline showed off her generous breasts. Oliver gulped as he looked her up and down. The dress seemed to be fitted to her waist before falling gracefully to the ground.

"Is this ok?" she asked self-consciously.

Oliver's eyes darted to her face. Her glasses gone showing just her pretty her bright blue eyes really were. Her makeup was simple yet floor-less. The hair plated and hung simply on her left shoulder.

Someone cleared their throat reminding him she was waiting for an answer.

"You look beautiful." he reassured her.

Felicity's bright smile lit up her whole face. Oliver smiled back at her. It was at times like this that he wished he had the courage to cross the distance between them and kiss her plump lips.

"We should get going." Felicity said suddenly breaking their silence staring.

Oliver whipped a hand round the back of his neck.

"Yeah we should." He replied.

Oliver held out his hand and Felicity took a deep breath before slowly walking over to him and taking his hand.

Oliver looked down at their joined hands, her small perfect hand in his larger calloused hand it felt so right.

Oliver shook his head tonight was going to be a long night.

* * *

Felicity sat quietly as Diggle drove them in to the gala. Roy and Oliver going over the plan next to her. Tonight Roy was going to be to be joining Diggle in bodyguard duty so he could be close by in case anything went wrong.

Felicity couldn't stop thinking about the way Oliver looked at her. Her heart built up so much hope but her head knew there was no chance Oliver could feel for her what she felt for him.

Diggle met her eyes in the mirror.

"You ok?" he mouthed so Oliver and Roy wouldn't notice.

Felicity gave him a weak smile and she heard him let out a frustrated breath.

Someone took her hand and when Felicity looked over she found Oliver looking at her with concerned eyes.

Felicity squeezed his hand.

"I hate this part." She told him just as the car pulled up to a stop.

"Were here." Diggle commented.

Felicity took a deep breath she really did hate this part. The red carpet walk, eyes on her. The great Oliver Queens date. She knew she was a disappointment. She wasn't some leggy model or admirable like Laurel the new DA she was just simple, plan Jane.

"I promise when this is over I will take you to get ice cream." Oliver said lightly.

Felicity new he was trying to make her less nervous and she couldn't help but smile at his attempts.

"I'll hold you to that." she told him.

Oliver laughed before letting out a deep sigh. She knew he hated these things just as much as she did maybe more.

"You ready?" he asked her softly.

She knew if she told him no he would have Diggle driving off without second thought but they need to do this.

Felicity nodded slowly.

Oliver smiled once more before looking out the window.

He side deeply.

"Let's get this show on the road." Oliver said.

Diggle got out first opening the door for Oliver. Felicity slid over the seats as gracefully as possible as Oliver made a show of buttoning up his jacket before turning back to the car. He held his hand out of her and Felicity slowly placed her hand in his. She slowly lowered her leg making a show like in the movies. When she stood up Oliver's hand went to the small of her back. Felicity breath caught in her throat she knew she should be used to this by now but Oliver's touch always made her breathless. The flashing of the cameras brought her out of her thoughts and she couldn't help but cling to Oliver side.

"Who's the date Queen?" Someone questioned as they began walking inside.

Oliver just smirked.

Voices started called all at once asking questions about who she was, what dress she was wearing.

When they got inside Felicity realised a breath.

"I forgot how much of a circus this all was." Felicity whispered to Oliver.

Oliver snorted.

"It's not that bad." He replied.

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him.

"Easy for you to say." she said.

Oliver raised his eyebrows at her.

"Well Mr Billionaire playboy you have done this all your life." She pointed out.

"Not to mention the fact that you're hot and so they wouldn't think twice about you mixing with the beautiful people. Me I'm just plain Jane nothing extraordinary about me, apart from people wondering about what I am doing here." Felicity added quickly, gasping for breath at the end.

Oliver shock his head.

"You are extraordinary Felicity don't ever forget it." He told her and before she could comment Roy informed them their target had entered the building.

* * *

Oliver watched Felicity from the bar as she chatted to some of the guests. This was the first part of the plan make themselves seen to give them an alibi before silent taking their leave to find their targets books. Felicity looked comfortable with these people in ways he doubted she ever knew. She thought that she was ordinary but there was nothing ordinary about her. She was remarkable in every single way. The barman handed him his drink before Oliver made his way back over to her and handed her a glass of red wine.

"Thank you." she smiled.

Oliver nodded they talk for a while more to the new chief of Police and his wife.

"Do you think we made enough of a show yet?" Felicity asked under her breath as chief and his wife walked away.

"Maybe you should have a dance first." Diggle suggested through the comms.

Oliver inwardly groaned. It wasn't that he didn't want to dance with Felicity because he normally never minded, but the thought of her body pressed up against his was more than he could handle tonight.

"I think we made enough of a show tonight." Oliver countered missing the disappointed looking in Felicity eyes.

Oliver led Felicity out the room.

* * *

Felicity felt her heartbeat increase at Oliver's closeness. It wasn't that she didn't understand why Oliver was standing that close to her after all they were on a mission and he was trying to keep her safe as they walked along the corridor.

"Where too?" he asked her.

Felicity fished out her phone from her clutch bag to look at the blueprints.

"We need to get to the second floor." She told him.

Oliver nodded they walked towards the stairway.

"Roy what do you see upstairs?" Oliver asked.

When they disappeared it was Roy's job to be their eyes, while Diggle got the car ready for a quick getaway.

"Second floor all clear." Roy replied a few minutes later.

Oliver took Felicity hand and led them up the stairs.

When they got to the top of the stairs Oliver looked down at her, waiting for her next direction.

"End of the corridor the turn left should be the second door on the right." she told him.

Oliver nodded and they began walking again.

"Roy..." Oliver started.

"Already on it." Roy interrupted.

"Corridor is all clear." he told them.

They got to their targets office without interruption and Felicity breathed in a sigh of relief.

Oliver stopped them just outside the door.

"Stay here and if anyone comes knock on the door." Oliver ordered and Felicity nodded.

* * *

Oliver was in and out within a few minutes.

"How did it go?" Felicity asks in a hushed whisper.

Oliver just looks at her offended that she thought he might fail.

Felicity can't help but laugh and Oliver smiles, he loved her laugh.

"Who's there?" Someone called out.

Oliver looks for somewhere to hide without any luck. Oliver pulled Felicity flush against him to shield her from there oncoming enemy and she gasps.

Oliver swallows, there are footsteps getting closer but all he can think about is how good her body feels against his.

"Dam it." he mutters and before he can think his lips descend on hers.

* * *

It took Felicity a while to figure out what was going on before she kissed him back. Oliver's arms were round Felicity's waist pulling her close to him. Kissing Oliver was nothing like she expected instead it's much more, his lips are soft and demanding. Part of her knows this is just for show but the other part of her, the part that ends up pulling on his lapels and bringing him closer before her arms wind round his neck. She is on her tip toes, trying to get as close to Oliver as she can. He tightens his arm around her. If she hadn't been so engrossed in Oliver she might of heard how close the footsteps got on how someone cleared their throat but all she could feel was Oliver's mouth on hers and the way his tongue swept into her mouth as if was memorising every inch of her mouth. They pull away gasping for breath and Oliver's mouth moves to her neck and all Felicity thoughts have turned to mush because all there is nothing that makes her go weaker at the knees then being kissed on her neck like that.

"Maybe it's time for a cab." A deep voice says from behind them.

Felicity pulls away embarrassed, she looks down while Oliver charms the guard and before she knows it he is pulling her towards the exit.

* * *

Oliver is grateful for the cold air when they get outside, he had never expected her to be so willing to his touch and now all he wants to do is take her. She felt perfect in his arms, almost as if she was made for him.

Oliver shakes his head to get rid of that thought before he does something that could ruin what they have worked so hard to build.

Felicity is shaking from the cold next to him and Oliver shakes out of his jacket before gently placing it around her shoulders.

"Thank you." Felicity whispers.

She is avoiding his and Oliver opens his mouth to attempt to fix what happen when the Diggle arrives with the car.

"What happened in there?" Roy asks the moment they get in the car.

Oliver glares at him before handing over the books.

"Look through there and see if there is anything Detective Lance can use." Oliver orders.

Diggles eyes meet his in mirror with a questioning glance but Oliver shakes his head, not here not now he silently begs.

* * *

The rest of the evening is quite, so she goes home early. She knows that Oliver wanted to talk to her but she can't face it till tomorrow. Felicity showers, tiring very hard not to think about the way his lips feel against her skin. She wants him so very much and then it hits her. It was never real. None of it. Not his lips on hers. Not his hands raking all over her body. Not his lips touching her skin and she wants that touch so much her body physically aches. Big sobs escape her body and she can't help but cry herself that night. Tomorrow she will be brave. Tomorrow she won't let anyone see her hurt. But tonight she can't help but feel the sorrow for what will never be.


	3. Chapter 3: Real First Kiss

Chapter 3: Real first kiss.

Felicity tried not to think about the kiss but she can't and within two weeks it's too much to bear. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get that kiss out of her head or the want of that kiss and it was killing her.

"You ok?" Diggle asks softly.

She knows that she has been acting differently and she is seriously trying not too but it's hard and emotions not matter how much people like to think they are really hard to get over.

She wants to say yes but Diggle knows her well enough to see threw her lies.

"Nope." she says and tears build in her eyes.

Diggle gathers her into his arms.

"You can talk to me you know." he tells her softly.

Felicity nods into his arms but says nothing, knowing if she did Diggle would get mad at Oliver and she doesn't want that because it wasn't his fault any more than it was hers.

"I just need to go home." She begs Diggle who nods.

"Go." he tells her.

Felicity gathered her bag and headed to the exit.

She avoids work and the lair for two days straight. Originally only sending a message to Dig to say she is fine she just wants a couple of days to myself. That doesn't stop any of them from calling but she ignores the calls.

Diggle is the first to call right after her text. She wants to answer but she knows if she does she will tell him everything and she didn't think she could handle that. So she sends Diggle a text tell him she is fine she just tried and needs a couple of days to rest.

Oliver is next to call but he doesn't leave a message just sending a couple of texts asking if she is ok.

Sara's message makes her want to cry.

"I know we haven't know each other that long but you mean a lot to me Felicity and if you ever need to talk and I mean ever no matter what time of day I will always be here for you." Sara tells her.

Felicity sends Sara a message back telling her that she loves her and that she is very thankful to have a friend like her.

Roy is the last to text but she is happy that he does.

_Hey Blondie, you doing ok? Everyone is worried, especially big boss. He is freaking out. _

Big boss was what Roy had nick named Oliver and why she doubted Oliver was freaking out, she does text him back telling him she is fine.

It's a lie and she is pretty sure they all know it.

* * *

Oliver paced in the foundry on the third night. He hated not knowing what was going on with Felicity, hated that she had been different ever since the night he had kissed her.

"So she hasn't told anyone anything?" he questions his team.

They all shake their head. It's unlike Felicity not to talk to anyone of them.

"What happened that night?" Diggle asks.

Oliver looks over at him begging him not to make him go over it but Diggle gives him a hard look and Oliver knows he has got no choice but to tell him.

"There was nowhere to hide without getting caught." Oliver reasoned.

Diggle nods in acceptance waiting for him to continue.

Oliver sighed.

"I only meant to make it look like we were kissing but..." Oliver explains but stops as the sound of her gasp echoes through his head.

The feel of her lips on his and Oliver has to physically shake that memory from his head.

Someone clears their throat and Oliver looks over at his team.

"I couldn't help it." Oliver argued.

"You kissed her?" Sara asks in disbelief.

Oliver looks away as he nods.

Diggle walks towards him.

"Oliver?" He calls Oliver looks up.

Diggle looks mad.

"Felicity is in love with you and you kissed her to keep you cover." Diggle raged.

Oliver shook his head.

"It wasn't like that." Oliver argued.

"What was it like then?" Diggle demanded.

Oliver sighed.

"Kissing Felicity had nothing to do with keeping our bloody cover, I did it because I wanted too." Oliver yelled in his defence.

Diggle smirked at Oliver's unusual outburst of emotion.

"But she doesn't know that." Sara points out.

Oliver looks over at her and everything sinks in. By kissing her for what she believed was cover, he had hurt her.

* * *

On the third night she is so unsure that she can't live being around Oliver that she starts packing her things. She knows it's stupid and foolish and she probably won't leave but she has to do something to keep herself from thinking about him.

She is so engrossed in packing that she doesn't hear him enter her house.

"You're leaving?" he asks, his deep voice making her jump.

She turns to look at him. His eyes wide as he looks round the room, eyes settling on her open suitcase.

"What are you doing here?" she demands, suddenly furious that his hasn't respect her need to be left alone.

"You're leaving?" he asks again completely ignoring her question.

Felicity moves to go past him, if he doesn't feel the need to answer her then she doesn't feel the need to look at him anymore. But he grabs her arm and stops her.

"Answer me Felicity." He orders and she huffs.

Felicity can see that he is angry but she doesn't care. She continues to try and move around him but each time he just pulls her back again.

"That's none of your business." She shouts back.

Oliver steps closer to her almost crowding her and Felicity moves back until her back hits her bedroom door.

"Talk to me." He begs his tone different almost begging.

It breaks Felicity and she hates herself for it.

She meets his eyes for the first time since he got here.

"I can't do this anymore." She whispers fresh tears falling down her cheeks.

His hand goes to her cheek and her eyes fly open.

"Do what?" he asks softly trying to understand what the hell is going with her.

Felicity looks away from him, she wants nothing more than to run and hide because it's humiliating knowing he would never feel the same, but she knows Oliver would never let her.

"You shouldn't have kissed me." She says fiercely.

She can fill Oliver tense up. She can fill him closing himself off, just like he does every time something even remotely emotional between the two of them is brought up.

"Is that what this is about?" he asks surprising her.

Felicity ignores his question, she hates how vulnerable he makes her feel.

Oliver gently pulls her chin up so she is looking at him in the eyes.

"You shouldn't have kissed me." Felicity repeats, silently begging him to let this go.

"Why?" he asks.

"I know why you did it, I do." Felicity points out and she really does.

"I mean we were in trouble and we need to escape and we couldn't which left us with little option but couldn't you have just faked it?" She asked desperate.

"You should have faked it, it wouldn't hurt this much if you faked it." Felicity babbled, desperate tears back in her eyes.

Felicity closes her eyes and puts her hand to her mouth realising what she just said, she wishes the ground would swallow her up but it still wouldn't change what she just said.

* * *

Oliver looks at her in disbelief. Here is this incredible, smart beautiful women and she has no idea how much she means to him or even just how amazing she is.

"Felicity." Her name falls from his mouth without his control and her eyes instantly open again.

Oliver loves her eyes. How the change with each and every emotion.

Oliver looks down at her hoping that she can somehow understand how he feels about her without having to actually tell her, but when she looks away unsure and he knows she hasn't.

"You think that kiss was completely faked?" he asks in disbelief and Felicity nods.

Oliver sighs frustrated.

"Of course it was, I mean why else would you kiss me like that. I'm not gorgeous Laurel or feisty I can take care of myself Sara. I'm just me, IT girl extraordinary." Felicity told him, saying the last bit as if it's nothing.

Oliver curses.

"Dam it Felicity." He mutters.

He can't take her thinking so little of himself so he does the only thing he can to make her understand and kisses her.

This kiss is different than their first it's slow and deliberate with so much passion. Her lips are soft against his, he uses his hand to cradle her cheek so gently, but it's short, sweet and over far too quickly.

Felicity whimpers when he pulls away and Oliver sighs, fighting everything within him not to take her back to her room and so her just how much she is the one he wants.

"And that's the problem." He whispers before pressing one last kiss to her forehead.

Oliver leave's quickly after, knowing if he stays their relationship will change forever and he isn't ready for that and he is not sure he will ever be.


	4. Chapter 4: Thea's Felicity

Chapter 4: Thea's Felicity

She was alone again. Somehow she always ended up alone. It started right after Ollie decided to get on that ship with their father. She remembered hearing the news that her father and brother were dead and how heartbroken she felt. Her mother had dealt with their loss by isolating herself from the rest of the world and unfortunately that included Thea. She still had Tommy but his own grief for his best friend and brother was just as hard to deal with as her own.

After a couple of years her mother got better thanks to Walter and Thea finally stopped feeling alone. She had her mother back, a kind and decent father figure in Walter and a brother figure in Tommy. It wasn't the same as before but it was something and in her experience something was better than nothing.

When Ollie returned home Thea couldn't have been happier she almost had her family back and even though she had realised he was different and he would never be the same older brother she once knew again that was somehow ok because in a way he was better. They were better.

But things never stay the same for long and a few months after her brothers return Thea found herself alone again. Walter was missing, her mother isolated herself in her room again much like she had done with her father died, Tommy was busy dealing with problems of his own and Ollie was constantly disappearing. Even acting out never seem to get anyone's attention.

Then she met Roy Harper and things change because not matter what was going on with her family she knew he would always be there for her and he proved that after the Glades and loss of both Tommy and her brother. She no longer had or wanted her mother in her life and her brother was dealing with his own grief but that was ok, even if it meant leaving her alone because she understood grief and she had Roy now.

When Ollie returned home once again with his loyal bodyguard and pretty blonde assistant always by his side, somehow he was even better than before. Ollie now listened to her and gave her advice. Even helping Roy out once or twice and for a short while she even had Walter back but Thea should have learnt by now that nothing ever stays well for along especially not for her.

The moment Slade Wilson came into Starling City was the moment Thea Queen truly lost everything. First it was Ollie disappearing again, then it was her mother too busy with her companion and even though she was used to them leaving her alone it still hurt. But what hurt the most and was completely unexpected was losing Roy. From the moment she met Roy she knew he had nothing yet somehow he managed to give her everything. Until he was gone, not only as her boyfriend but from her life too.

Then Slade Wilson kidnapped her and told her the truth about who her father really was her and her whole world came crashing down and after the Arrow saved her, all she wanted was to be left alone. But neither her mother nor brother seemed to give her that right. She needed to be alone to think because not only was she the daughter of two mass murders, and the person everyone always left but now she was the person everyone lied to too and she was mad at the world and she every right to be.

But bit by bit it got better, the man she had called father had choose to love her, the Arrow was taking care of Roy and her mother and brother had promised no more lies. Then the car crashed and Slade Wilson was telling Ollie he had to choose and she had no idea what was going on. Her mother stood up sacrificing herself, she remembers screaming as the sword pierced through her mother and as Slade Wilson walked away promising her brother that someone else would die.

Now her mother was dead, her brother had abandoned her and she was alone once again.

It was the knock on her door that day that changed her life forever, in the form of Ollie's very pretty assistant.

Thea remembered how Felicity looked that day, so put together and determined with a sad smile on her face.

"Ollie's not here." Thea told her the moment she saw the blondes face.

Thea tried to close the door but Felicity's hand stopped her.

"Wait." she cried.

Thea looked at her and frowned. Didn't the women understand that she was grieving and wanted to be left alone?

"I didn't come here for Oliver." Felicity told her.

Thea sighed and tapped her foot impatiently.

Felicity swallowed nervously.

"I came here to check on you." Felicity said softly a sad small on her face.

Thea wasn't sure what she had expected but it certainly hadn't been that.

"Well as you can see I'm fine and if Ollie returns I'll make sure to tell him you stopped by." Thea spat in disgust thinking the only reason the women could possibly be here was to help improve her chances in winning Ollie's affection.

Felicity shook her head.

"This is not going the way I intend." Felicity mumbled to herself.

Before shaking her head and looking Thea square in the eye.

"Look." Felicity started with a sigh.

"You don't know me and I don't really know you other then what Oliver and Roy tell me but you are important to them both and what is important to my friends is important to me and you are going through a hard time all alone and I just wanted to be here for you because I know they won't be." Felicity said speaking quickly.

Thea looked at the women in disbelief. She wanted to be here for her because she was alone and she knew how important Thea was to the people in both their lives. It was sweet but Thea was so tired of letting people in and getting hurt when they left.

"I know telling you I am sorry for you lost will mean nothing to you right no but I hope one day soon it will be of some comfort to you." Felicity told her softly.

Thea didn't know if it was Felicity words or just the fact that there was someone here checking on her but suddenly Thea was crying and she couldn't stop. She stood in the middle of her doorway sobbing big ugly loud sobs that just wouldn't stop.

Felicity gathered her into her arms and just held her until she finished crying.

Felicity stayed for the next three days barely leaving her side. They didn't say much to each other but Felicity made sure she ate and drank regularly and never hesitated to hold her when she cried. On the fourth day Felicity disappeared for a while and Thea believed that was the last time she had seen her. But Felicity surprised her, something Thea would later learn that Felicity did with everyone and she returned a few hours later in fresh clothes and a huge bag full of clean clothes. Telling Thea she would stay as long as she wanted her to.

They spent the next week hold up inside the mansion, most of the time it was just the two of them but sometimes her brother's bodyguard, Diggle would join them. Often they would end up watching Disney films or crying at a chick flick and slowly she got better.

When Ollie returned a few days later Thea expected Felicity to return to her brothers side but Felicity had surprised her yet again. She had been arguing with Ollie when Felicity let herself into the mansion.

"Felicity." Ollie said in disbelief that she had let herself in but Thea had given her a key.

If Felicity was surprised to see Ollie back she didn't show it she just glared at Ollie before looking over at Thea.

"You ok?" she asked her softly completely ignoring Ollie as he attempted to ask her what she was doing here.

Thea shook her head.

"I want to get out of here." Thea said almost begging.

Felicity nodded and held out her hand. Thea took it instantly.

"Thea?" Ollie called.

Thea felt Felicity stopped as they walked towards the door. This was the moment that Thea thought she was going to lose Felicity. But Felicity simple turned and levelled Ollie with a single look.

"You have abandoned her for two weeks you can give her the rest of the day." Felicity told her in a voice that left no room for arguing.

They left the house and it was then that Thea realised what opening the door to Felicity that day had done.

Before she always ended up alone but now, with Felicity by her side she somehow knew she would never be alone again.

* * *

**Note: Hey everyone just wanted to say a few things. First I am looking for a Beta to proofread chapters for this story and a couple of others I am currently writing so if anyone is interested I would love to hear from you. Secondly the next chapter will be called the story behind it and is directly linked to Thea's flashback in chapter 5 of Dear Oliver so if you haven't read that chapter, the next chapter in this series might not make sense to you. Lastly as always thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy. **


	5. Chapter 5: The story behind it

Chapter 5: The story behind it.

Oliver looked over at Felicity.

_Only because I know what it's like to grieve alone._

It had been two weeks since she had said those words to him and no matter how hard he tried, Oliver could not make himself forget them.

For someone who talked a lot Felicity was relatively tight lipped about her life. All he knew was that her father abandoned her and she was Jewish. Sure he knew how she liked her coffee and what her favourite wine and food was but that was pretty much it.

Ever since she muttered those words, Oliver wanted to more. He wanted to know who she had lost. He wanted to know who had left her to deal with her pain alone. As if by somehow knowing he could maybe make it better for her.

"Felicity?" Oliver called.

Felicity looked briefly over her shoulder at him from her desk in the lair.

"What's up?" She asked, her dazzling smile in place.

Oliver couldn't help but smile back. He opened his mouth to answer when her computer buzzed and Felicity turned her back to him.

Oliver sighed. There weren't really working on anything important currently and now was a good of time as any to ask Felicity meant by her words.

He walks forward just stopping behind her chair.

"You said you knew what it was like to grieve alone." Oliver stated quietly.

Felicity fingers on the keypad freeze and her whole body stiffens. For a moment Oliver regrets bringing it up.

* * *

Felicity lets go of a shaky breath. She knew the moment she mentioned about grieving alone that one day Oliver would bring it back up. But it has been two weeks and Felicity had hoped he had forgot.

"Will you tell me about it?" He asks softly.

If she was stronger, she would say no because Felicity knows without a shadow of a doubt that one day Oliver Queen will break her hurt. But as he pulls up a chair behind her and turns her chair round so she is facing him, his eyes soft and kind. Felicity can't help but wonder if it really is better to love and have lost then to never have loved at all.

Felicity licks her lips nervously. Unsure where to start, she takes a deep breath.

"After my dad left my mum wasn't around very much." Felicity starts.

"My mum wasn't cruel..." Felicity states taking a deep breath.

"She just wasn't around very much. Don't get my wrong I had food, cloths and a decent place to live but that was it." Felicity added.

She swallows hard. She never had a close relationship with her mum but as she thinks about how alone she was back then she can't help the tears that fill her eyes.

* * *

Oliver watches the tears fill Felicity eyes. His hand reaches out to hers and gives it a gentle squeeze. Felicity gives him a sad smile.

"But it wasn't too bad because I had Luke." she tells him, her smile a little brighter.

"Luke was the little boy next door who lived with his dad and was a couple of years older than me." Felicity told him.

"Not matter how bad things got Luke was always there not matter what." Felicity told him.

Oliver smiled at her, grateful that she had someone like that in her life.

"When I was 13 I realised that Luke hid a lot from me to protect him." Felicity continued her voice now cold and distant.

"Like what?" Oliver questioned.

"His father was a drunk and sometimes he would get violent with Luke. I have never noticed the bruises before but when I did and then couldn't stop seeing them." Felicity replied.

Oliver tightened his grip on Felicity hand, to let her no he was there and everything was ok.

"Luke told me to forget about them but I couldn't." Felicity told him.

"Because you're a good person." Oliver pointed out.

Felicity shook her head.

"A good person would have told someone." Felicity spat in disgust. She stood up from her chair and begun pacing.

"But he begged me not too." She added.

Tears strolled down at her face.

"You were just doing what your friend asked." Oliver reasoned.

Felicity shook her head.

"I should have told someone." She argued.

Oliver walked over to her and stopped her from pacing.

"What happened?" He asked softly.

Felicity swallowed.

"His dad was drunk when he picked him up from school that day." Felicity whispered her eyes fell to the floor.

Oliver hated how much this story hurt her.

"I begged him not to get into that car, but he just smiled told me everything would be ok." Felicity continued.

Oliver gently put his hands on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

"His dad was speeding and when the car hit that tree at 80 mph, Luke stood no chance." Felicity said wincing at the last words.

"I'm so sorry." Oliver whispered.

Felicity body is shaking with tears as she finishes the rest of the story.

"My mum came to the funeral with me but two hours later she back at work and I was alone." She stated.

"Luke was my best friend, my big brother, my lifeline all rolled into one and he was gone." She added.

Oliver's arms went around her gathering her to him. Felicity went willingly into his arms.

"I was alone and she didn't even notice how much it hurt not to have Luke around." Felicity told him.

Oliver nodded pressing a kiss to her temple hating how alone she must have felt.

Felicity pulls away a little, her hands are still partly on his chest as she looks up and meets his eyes.

She clears her throat before she speaks.

"What you did for me here, comforting and listening to me." Felicity starts and Oliver nods for her to continue.

"Thea needed you to do that for her and you needed someone to do that for you because being alone its hurts and its so dam hard." Felicity tells him.

Oliver brings Felicity back into his arms. She is right and he knows it.


	6. Chapter 6: Slade Wilson

**Note: Hey everyone I am really sorry this took so long I was in Paris for my best friends 21****st**** anyway here is the next chapter, these are the missing scenes that go along with Oliver's flashback in chapter 9 of Dear Oliver. **

Chapter 6: Slade Wilson

Part 1: His teacher returns

Oliver paled at the sight in front of him.

Slade Wilson was meant to be dead. Oliver had been the one to kill his former friend. But yet somehow Slade Wilson was here, standing in front of him. How could he be alive?

"Oliver are you alright dear?" His mother asked bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Yes Mr Queen, you do look rather pale." Slade added.

It took everything Oliver had not to glare at his former friend.

Oliver gave his mother most reassuring smile.

"Of course mother." Oliver replied.

Thea continued her tour of the manor, talking endlessly. Oliver followed closely behind ready to take action when necessary.

He knew his team where nearby ready to take action whenever needed but Oliver was still on edge. He needed to find a way to calm down.

His phone vibrated in his pocket.

Oliver looked down at the screen.

_We've got your back. F x_

He already knew they did but somehow Felicity always knew when he needed reassurance, tension begun to leave his body.

_Thank you. O _

_Always. F x_

Slade barley paid attention to the kid's sister as she talked. He was too focused on the effect he was having on the kid. He had trained the kid for Christ sake he knew everything about him. Slade knew how the kids mind ticks, knew he probably has his team ready and waiting in the wings. But Slade was not here to hurt the kid or his family. Yet anyway.

He could feel how on edge the kid was as they walked round his home. He could feel the anger and fear rolling of the kid in waves. But in the last few minutes something had changed. The kid was looking down at his phone and the tension eased.

A small smile even crossed the kids face.

Slade frowned, he wanted the kid to be on edge, he liked knowing he was getting to him. Slade wondered who could make the kid smile at a time like this. Slade risked a glance at his own phone, he had all their phones tapped and all he would need to do was look at his phone and it would tell him who was making the kid smile.

A smile crawled across Slides face as he read who was texting the kid.

_Felicity Smoak_.

He had be watching the kid for months. He had watch the kid struggle, to be the son his mother wanted, to keep his kid sister in line. He had seen the kid fight his feelings with the Lance sisters, a never ending battle that he could never win. Then there was his kid's partners; John Diggle and Felicity Smoak. While Slade understood the kid's friendship the ex-army man he did not understand the kid's friendships with his blonde IT girl, at least not at first.

At first sight Felicity Smoak was easily overlooked. Isobel had told him how close they were but Slade was so sure she had to be wrong after all nothing more important to the kid then the older Lance sister, but after months of watching Slade finally understood.

Felicity Smoak was loyal, she gave up her whole life to help the kid live his. She was incredibly smart making the kid's life easier and unfortunately for Slade, his job harder. She was beautiful and bright, and for the kid who had lived in darkness for so long she was his everything. But the kid failed to see it and that was going to make taking her out of the kid's life so much more surreal.

Slade had been sure he would need to take the oldest Lance sister to make the kid feel what he felt, but as he watched Oliver straighten his shoulders, his jaw set determinedly, focusing himself. Slade knew it would be taking his IT girl that would hurt the kid the most.

* * *

Part 2: Anything to save him

She hated being left behind and by the way Laurel paced restlessly she knew Laurel felt the same way.

"You can't just leave us behind." Laurel screeched at Oliver.

Everyone was getting ready for the battle of their life.

Felicity handed them each a comm, remaining silent despite feeling the same as Laurel.

"Laurel honey its safest here." Detective Lance pointed out.

While Detective Lance and Sara talked Laurel round Oliver wondered over to her.

"So you're not going to argue with me?" Oliver asked.

"Demanded you come too?" he added.

Felicity sighed. There was nothing she wanted more than to be with her friends if the worse ever came to pass, but she knew it would do know good and he along with everyone else that cared about her would feel better knowing that they at least were safe.

"Would it do any good?" she asked tiredly.

Her head ached from the van crash earlier.

Oliver gave her a small smile but shook his head.

"I'll be able to fight better knowing you are safe." he told her honestly.

Felicity nodded.

"I know." she responded.

Oliver turned to walk away but Felicity hugged him from behind and Oliver froze. If this was going to be the last time she saw him she wanted to make it count.

"Promise me you'll come back." she begged into his back.

"You know I can't promise you that." He told her softly.

Oliver turned slowly, so her heard was now buried in his chest.

He rested his head on her hair and sighed.

"But I can promise to be careful?" he offered.

Felicity nodded into his chest. She held him tightly for a few more minutes before slowly pulling away. She needed to be brave for him.

Felicity looked at Oliver giving him her best smile.

"I'll take whatever I can get." she replied.

Oliver nodded.

"Then I promise to be careful." He told her honestly.

Ten minutes later, they were all gone. Felicity tried not to think about who they might lose tonight.

"I don't like being left behind, not knowing what's going on with them." Laurel said suddenly breaking the silence.

Felicity nodded in agreement.

"Me either but they will concentrate more knowing that we're safe." Felicity reasoned.

Laurel sighed deeply before nodding slowly.

It had been almost two hour since she least heard from the others and her heartache with the fear of not knowing.

Her phone ringing brought her out of her thoughts.

"Who's that?" Laurel asked.

Felicity looked down at the phone.

_Unknown number. _

Felicity shrugged her shoulders and moved off to answer the phone.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hello Miss Smoak." A deep Australian accent calls through the phone.

Felicity's heartbeat speed up, she knew that voice. But why was Slade Wilson calling her of all people.

"I know your with Miss Lance but I would rather she didn't know who you are talking to." Slade said.

"Why wouldn't I tell her?" Felicity asked.

Slade laughed coldly.

"Look over at Miss Lance." Slade ordered.

Felicity looked hesitantly over at Laurel. Laurel raised her eyebrows.

"You see that red dot on Miss Lance left breast pocket?" Slade asked.

Felicity eyes find the red dot and she has to physically stop herself from crying out. Slade could and would kill Laurel at any moment.

Felicity turned away from Laurel.

"What do you want?" she whispers into the phone.

"I just want to you listen to me." Slade reasons.

Felicity looks out at the broken city. Just to listen. That very idea seemed like a sick joke now.

"I'm listening." She replied.

"Good." Slade said and Felicity could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke.

"Your friends are dying Miss Smoak." Slade told her.

Silent tears strolled down her eyes.

"And they will continue to do so unless I get what I want." Slade informed her.

Felicity closed her eyes and swallowed hard she would not give him the satisfaction of hearing her cry.

"And what's that?" she asked hesitantly.

"I want Oliver to feel what it's really like to lose someone he loves." Slade told her.

"Don't you think you made that point by killing his mother?" Felicity spat back in a harsh whisper.

"It's not enough." Slade roared in her ear.

"It will never be enough until he loses the women he loves." Slade added.

Felicity looked over at Laurel. Everyone who knew Oliver knew that Laurel was the women he loved, so Felicity was not about to hand her over to a mad man.

"I won't let you hurt Laurel." Felicity told him.

Slade laughed.

"I don't want Miss Lance." Slade told her instantly.

Felicity frowned. She really didn't understand Slade. Surely he would need the women Oliver loved for his plan to work.

"Then what do you want?" Felicity repeated.

"You Miss Smoak." Slade replied.

Felicity gasped.

"Felicity everything alright?" Laurel called over, concern in her voice.

Felicity looked over at Laurel to find the red dot still in place. She gave Laurel a smile.

"Yeah, everything's fine." she lied.

Laurel smiled and nodded.

"You can stop all this Miss Smoak if you just walk downstairs and hand yourself over to me." Slade told her.

"No more of your friends will die, I promise you." He added.

For some unknown reason Slade wanted her and if there was a chance she could save the others she had to take it.

"What do you want me to do?" Felicity asked.

Slade laughed again.

"Good girl." he replied and Felicity cringed.

"Walk over to Miss Lance still on the phone and say yes Oliver I have the batteries I will be right down." Slade told her.

Felicity walked slowly over to Laurel and looked over at her computer case, she picked up a set of batteries for the comms.

"Yes Oliver I have the batteries, I will be right down." Felicity repeated.

She walked towards the exit.

"Oliver just needs these I will be right back." Felicity told Laurel over her shoulder.

Laurel nodded seeming uninterested and Felicity made her way out of the building.

"What now?" She asked as she reach the bottom step.

"Turn around?" Slade ordered.

Felicity turned slowly to find him waiting for her by his car. He opened the door and gestured towards it.

Felicity slowly walked over to the car.

She knew this was probably the stupidest thing she had ever done but as she thought about all of her friends; Sara the best friend she had never had, Roy the little annoying little brother she couldn't live without, Detective Lance the only father figure she had ever known, Diggle the big brother who would do anything for her and Thea. Oh god Thea, she would be alone again. Felicity hoped that Oliver and Roy would be there for her this time. Then there was Oliver. The man that change her life, the man that taught her to trust again, who taught her what it really felt like to have support and the only man she had ever seriously loved.

She closed her eyes as she got to the car. She hoped they would forgive her because she had to do this. She had to do whatever it takes to protect him even if that meant dying to save the women Oliver really loved.

"You really would do anything for him wouldn't you?" Slade commented as she slid in the back-seat of his car.

"Anything for him." She told Slade honestly.

* * *

Part 3: He will come for you

Slade looked over at the blonde women tied to the chair. She hadn't uttered a word since he brought her here.

Felicity Smoak was a very interesting women, according to the little information they could gather on her. Miss Smoak was incredibly smart with an education to be proud off. Graduating from both school and MIT early. However her private life was more difficult to find out. Her father abandoned her as a child and although her mother was still there physically, mentally and emotionally she was checked out. Miss Smoak basically raised herself. She worked three jobs during MIT to pay her way. Everyone seemed to love her, yet until the kid Miss Smoak mainly kept to herself. Slade had to admit that in the short time that he had been following and listening to their conversation he could see how strong and capable Miss Smoak really was. Just like Shado.

"You know you are too good for him." Slade told her honestly.

Miss Smoak raised her head and looked at him with questioning eyes.

Slade sighed and slowly walked over to her stopping just in front of her.

"You are stronger and braver then the kid knows. You are too good for him." Slade told her.

Miss Smoak shook her head.

She looked tired and pale. The cut on her forehead was still bleeding, yet she never showed him her fear.

"You're just like Shado." Slade said after a moment.

Miss Smoak looked at him with wide eyes.

"Shado was strong, she never let anyone see her fear. She fought for the kid too. Teaching him to use the bow, helping him to survive and how did he repay her?" Slade demanded his anger raising.

"By getting her killed." He spat now mad.

"It wasn't like that." Miss Smoak argued.

Slade had been over this time and time again with the kid he wasn't about to go over it with anyone else.

"Shado loved him, just like you and she died because of it and so will you." Slade informed her.

Miss Smoak never denied her love for the kid.

"Now Oliver will really feel what it's like to lose the women he loves." Slade added.

Miss Smoak scoffed.

Slade glared at her.

"I hate to break it to you but Oliver doesn't love me." Miss Smoak pointed out and Slade laughed.

Did the girl honestly not see what she meant to the kid? Everyone could see it yet the one person who needed to see it, couldn't. The kid was overprotective, more so over Miss Smoak than anyone else. She was the kid's light and it was going to hurt like hell when he took her away from the kid.

"He will come for you." Slade pointed out.

Miss Smoak shook her head.

"He will protect this city." Miss Smoak argued.

If Slade had taken anyone else he was sure the kid would have done just that, but Miss Smoak was different.

"He will come for you." Slade repeated.

Before Miss Smoak could reply her phone ringing got his attention.

The kid's name and face lit up Miss Smoaks phone screen.

"Looks like I'm right." Slade muttered showing Miss Smoak her phone.

Miss Smoak eyes widened in surprise as he answered the phone.

"It took you long enough kid." Slade answered

The kid breathed deeply down the phone.

"Where is she?" The kid demanded.

Slade laughed, he could hear the fear and panic in the kid's voice.

"For a supposed genius she is rather stupid when it comes to you." Slade spat.

The kid cried out in anguish

"All I had to do was tell her she could save you all by coming with me and she did it." Slade explained.

Slade heard the kid lose his temper and couldn't help but smile.

"Where is she?" The kid growled and Slade instantly knew he had chosen the right women.

"Were at your club, Oliver." Slade told him.

"Why don't you come and join us?" he added.

"If you hurt her..." The kid started.

"Come alone kid, or she will die." Slade interrupted with a promise, emphasising the last part and before the kid could reply he cut the call.

Slade looked over at Miss Smoak tears stained her pale cheeks.

"He is coming for you." Slade told her and a sob escaped her mouth.

* * *

Part 4: Her choice

Felicity could hear the bike hit the floor from inside the club.

She closed her eyes.

Slade was so sure that Oliver would come for her but she hope he would be wrong. She didn't understand why Oliver would. The city was dying and its people needed the arrow more than she did.

"Nice of you to join us kid." Slade muttered sarcastically.

Felicity looked up. Oliver stood in the door way, his hood down his mask long gone. He look tired and bruised, she would give anything to be by his side right now taking care of his wounds.

"You ok?" Oliver asked ignoring Slade.

Felicity meet his eyes. Her lips trembled but she gave him a small smile. Oliver needed her to be strong, so no matter how scared she was, she would not cry.

"She's fine aren't you Miss Smoak." Slade said dragging her backwards.

Felicity let out a yelp of pain. Her body ached all over. What she wanted right now was a really hot bath.

"Let her go." Oliver screamed and Slade laughed.

Felicity looked at Oliver she had never heard him so desperate before.

"I told you, one more person had to die." Slade reminded him.

"Fine but kill me not her." Oliver begged.

Felicity wanted to scream at Oliver for his stupid comment but she knew it would do no good. But she had to do something. Her hands moved to her pocket. When she had been giving out the cure she had put one in her pocket, she had no idea what possessed her to do it but right now she was glad she had.

"Felicity has nothing to do with this." Oliver yelled in frustration.

"She has everything to do with this." Slade screamed his voice echoing throughout the club.

"Isabel said the same thing but she didn't see what I did." Slade went on.

Oliver's eyes widened.

"Please Slade, she doesn't deserve this." Oliver begged.

"Neither did Shado but she is still dead." Slade yelled back.

Oliver closed his eyes.

"This one is just like Shado." Slade added more quietly and Oliver's eyes shoot open.

Felicity frowned he had been saying that all night and she really didn't understand. From what little Felicity knew about Shado, she knew that Shado was brave and kick ass. Sara was more like Shado then she was.

Slade caressed Felicity's cheek, trailing down her face towards her neck and Felicity flinched. She did not like him touching her and by the look on Oliver's face neither did he.

"Always on your side no matter what." Slade added.

His fingers gripped at her throat, panic rose within her. But she needed to be brave for Oliver. She closed her eyes, calming herself.

"So willing to die for you." Slade said his eyes never leaving Felicity's face as he spoke.

Oliver took a step towards them.

Slade looked over at him and Oliver froze. Slade's fingers where still on round her throat and his sword wasn't fair way either. She was terrified to move.

"What is it about you that brings so much faith in these women?" Slade asked.

Felicity could see the guilt in Oliver's eyes but this was her choice and she would always choose to die for him.

"He is a hero." Felicity said.

Her voice calm and determined and filled with so much warmth, just for him.

Slade's grip on her throat tightened and she gasped for breath.

"He is a murder." Slade argued his eyes back to glaring at her.

"No." Felicity gasped shaking her head.

She was struggling for breath but she wouldn't let Slade call Oliver a murder.

She looked over at Oliver and smiled. Oliver froze. Her eyes filled up with tears for the sorrow he had faced.

"He is a survivor and I will always be grateful for that." She added.

Felicity needed to make him understand.

"Whatever happens remember that this is my life and this is my choice." she stated.

Oliver frowned.

"Felicity." he whispered.

She smiled. She moved her hand to her coat pocket searching for the cure.

"And I wouldn't change a thing." she added.

Oliver opened his mouth to argue but something stopped him and she was grateful for it.

"Slade, you want revenge for Shado fine take me but please let her go." Oliver reasoned.

"You still don't get it do you kid." Slade said.

Felicity pulled the syringe slowly from her pocket careful not to take Slade's attention away from Oliver.

"I don't want you to die, I want you to know what it feels like to lose everything." Slade continued.

Felicity now had the syringe out of her pocket but she needed to wait for the right moment to use it.

"Your mother and now the women you love." Slade stated.

Felicity gasped. Oliver didn't love her but he never denied it either.

"Once you watch her die, then maybe I'll go back for that pretty little sister of yours." Slade spat before his cold laugh echoed out.

"No." Felicity screamed the same time Oliver growled it.

It was now or never. Felicity turned in Slade's arms the blade of his sword cutting into the flesh on her shoulder, despite the pain she plunged the syringe into Slade's neck.

"You bitch." Slade screamed as he shoved Felicity forward.

Felicity hit the floor with a thud, her head smashed back as Slade rounded on her.

"Now." Someone screamed from above them.

Bullets and arrows flew into the room from all different directions and Oliver shield her with his body as Slade took off.

"Oliver." she called.

Oliver looked down at her, worry field his eyes.

"I gave him the cure you can stop him now, once and for all." she whispered.

Oliver shook his head as he looked over her injuries, she could see the guilt in his eyes.

"I'm not leaving you." Oliver stated.

"Please Oliver." Felicity begged, even with the cure Slade was still a threat.

Footsteps approached them and Oliver tensed but relaxed as Roy and Dig came into view.

"Go Oliver, we've got her." Dig said.

Roy sat down next to Felicity gently taking her hand in his.

"Sara and Nyssa have gone after Slade, Lance is waiting out front for the ambulance. Go get him, will keep her safe." Dig promised.

Oliver looked down at her once again. He was still hesitant to leave.

"I'll be fine." she promised.

Oliver pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead before getting up and going after Slade.


	7. Chapter 7: Felicity got drunk and

Chapter 7: The night Felicity got drunk and confesses to Oliver

Felicity rolled her aching shoulders. It had been a long day and looking round the foundry, Felicity could tell it was going to be a long night.

"How long has it been since you actually went out?" Thea demanded.

Felicity sighed.

"A while." she admitted.

Sure there are some days where she would love to get dressed up because she wants to and not because she has to for a mission. She misses the days where she used to meet up with her old girlfriends from MIT and go dancing. But team Arrow's mission means everything and there is no night off when you are trying to save the world.

"Exactly so please come out?" Thea begged.

Felicity laughed tiredly. In her head she can see Thea giving her best puppy dog eyes, her lips pouting.

"I promised Oliver I would help him out with some work for QC." Felicity lies.

She hates lying to Thea about the arrow. In her head it makes no sense and in the long run Felicity can only see it hurting Thea. But its Oliver's choice and she respects that even if she doesn't agree with his decision.

"You're always with Ollie." Thea whines.

Felicity sighs again. Thea's right. Lately everything seems to be arrow related and she has barely had enough time to catch up on sleep let only check in with un-arrow related things.

"I'm really sorry Thea." Felicity replied.

She can feel Oliver's eyes on her at the mention of his sister. Even after six months he still isn't sure how to deal with her friendship with his sister.

"I am seriously convinced my brother has you locked in a basement somewhere." Thea announces.

Felicity bust with laughter. Tears of laughter stroll down her face.

If Thea only knew how they spent their nights.

"What's so funny?" Roy asks from the training mats.

"No Thea your brother does not keep me locked in a basement." Felicity told her laughter still filled her voice.

Thea sighs again.

"Then promise me will go out soon because I miss you." Thea orders.

Felicity feels guilty.

"I miss you too." She tells her honestly.

While her intentions were to be there for Thea in her time of need Felicity never imagine that she would come to need Thea just as much as Thea needed her.

"I promise." Felicity adds.

"Good, I speak to you soon." Thea replies and before Felicity can say anything the phone goes dead.

* * *

Oliver isn't blind, despite what Diggle thinks he can see that she is tried. He knows that Felicity works harder than the rest of them and not just for team arrow but also for him at QC. If he were a good man Oliver would have done something about it sooner. But he is selfish and Oliver needs Felicity like fish need water.

Oliver walks over to Felicity and taps her on the shoulder.

She turns in her chair and gives him a small smile.

He can see Thea's words got to her and sometimes because her he thinks about telling Thea the truth. So that they don't have to lie anymore, so she doesn't have to lie any more.

"Take Friday night off." He tells her.

Her eyes widen with excitement.

"Are you serious?" Felicity asks.

Oliver smiles.

"Of course, we could all use a break." He replies.

Already thinking of giving Roy and Dig the night off too.

Felicity jumps up so quickly in her seat Oliver had to step backwards so he wouldn't get head-butted.

She throws herself at him. Hugging him tightly. Oliver hugs her back.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." she repeats.

A beaming smile on her face and in that instant Oliver knows making Felicity smile had become his new mission in life.

He holds her for a few more seconds before she pulls away. Pulling out her phone.

"Thea it's me." Felicity says.

"How about we go out Friday we can invite Sara and Laurel too it can be a girls night?" Felicity suggest.

Oliver doesn't hear the response but whatever it is it makes Felicity happy and if it makes Felicity happy then that is all he cares about.

* * *

**Friday night:**

* * *

Laurel had to admit the idea of a girls night with your ex-boyfriends sister, his ex-girlfriend who also happened to be your sister and the women that your ex-boyfriend who you may or may not still have feelings for was in love with sounded like hell. But Sara had begged and after five years of living without her Laurel couldn't bring herself to say no.

So here she was on a Friday night and she was surprised to admit she was having a blast. She wasn't drinking much, determined not to let the drinking gain control over her again but Sara and Felicity were. It was nice to see them both so relaxed and after all the work they did for the city they deserved it. Thea wasn't drinking either but she seemed to feeding of the excited energy that both Sara and Felicity were giving off.

It was half past eleven and Felicity and Thea were dancing in the middle of club. It had been a long time since Laurel had seen that childlike joy on Thea's face. Sadly she had grown up to quickly. She knew that Felicity and Thea had got close after Mrs Queen's death but she hadn't expected them to be this close. Whatever Felicity was doing for the Queens it was good for them.

"You ok?" Sara asked.

Sara followed her eye line just in time to watch Thea laughing at something Felicity said.

"She is good for them." Laurel comments.

Felicity Smoak is really the best thing that has ever happened to Oliver Queen and his family. It's hard to admit and by the way Sara puts her arms around her, her sister knows it.

Laurel sighs it time she let go of her Ollie.

"She is." Sara adds probably doing her own version on letting Oliver Queen go.

* * *

Sara has decided she loves drunk Felicity even more than she loves sober Felicity. With alcohol Felicity's brain to mouth filter is non-existent and even though they know it's cruel and she will probably make them all pay for it later Sara, Laurel and Thea can't help but ask Felicity questions.

"So you have never thought about Diggle in a sexual light?" Sara asks.

Felicity scoffs.

"Although Dig has the body of a god and not just a little god either a big god like Zeus or Hades, I mean cause have you seen his arms they are like out here." Felicity babbled using her hands to demonstrate.

"Whose arms are out here?" a voice calls from behind them.

Sara turns and finds Roy standing there. She raises her eyebrows at him.

"Thea text me and told me Felicity was truth telling I couldn't miss this." Roy reasons.

Sara laughs.

"Roy." Felicity cheers as she grabs Roy in a wobbly hug.

"It's good to see you too Blondie." Roy laughs steadying her.

"Roy here is like the cutest button ever." Felicity says gently poking Roy's nose.

Roy flushes suddenly uncomfortable with the attention and none of the girls can help it when they burst out laughing.

"So tell me you having fun?" Roy asks as he help Felicity sit back down.

Felicity nods.

"But I miss Oliver." She mumbles.

They all freeze and look over at her.

No one brought up questions about Oliver out of fear of making it awkward and Sara is sure if Felicity was sober she would have been doing the same thing.

"Didn't you see him like five hours ago?" Thea asked.

Felicity shakes her head.

"It's not the same." she moans.

"I miss fun Oliver." she annoyances.

Sara can't help but ask,

"Fun Oliver?"

Felicity nods.

"Yeah the one that does stupid things just to make me laugh when I am having a crap day." she tells them.

Even though this is news to Sara, the thought of Oliver trying to make Felicity smile makes Sara happy because it means he is finally starting to see it. That he is worthy of real love too.

"Why don't you tell him?" Her sister suggests to Felicity.

Sara looks over at Laurel, there is no vindictiveness in her face which tells Sara she is generally finding it amusing.

Felicity gasps.

"That's a good idea." Felicity says with genuine excitement.

She fumbles in her bag for her phone.

* * *

Oliver wakes from sleep to his phone ringing. He looks at the clock it half three in the morning and his phone only rings at this time if someone is in danger.

He grabs his phone quickly and answers.

"What's wrong?" He demands.

"I miss yoooou." Felicity slurred voice response.

Oliver can't help but smile. She had gone out tonight with the girls and she is obviously having a good time if she is drunk dialling him.

"I miss you too." he tells her and it's the truth he realises.

His routine portals just hadn't been the same without her voice in his ear.

"Nope you did't." she argues, making the p pop.

Oliver shakes his head and gets out of bed.

She is drunk and even though he knows she is with Sara and his sister he can't help but worry about how she is getting home.

"Yes I do." He promises.

He can here movement as if she is shaking her head the other end of the phone.

"Nope." She says again popping the p.

"If you did you would come get me." she argues.

Oliver laughs.

He is already dress and heading for the door, already planning to do just that.

"I'm coming." He tells her.

"Really?" she asks.

He loves the childlike excitement in her voice.

"Really." He promises with a huge smile on his face.

He is definitely going to make sure she goes out more only next time maybe he will go with her.

* * *

Thea can't help but smile as Felicity excitedly jumps up at the sight of Ollie walking into the club. The club closed about an hour ago but everyone was having such a good time Thea paid the owner to do a lock in just for them.

"You came?" Felicity yells with smile.

She takes a wobbly steps over to him. Roy and Sara get up to follow in case she falls but Ollie's arms around her waist steadying her.

"You did miss me." Felicity mumbles burying her head in Ollie's chest.

Ollie laughs before gently pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"More than you'll even know." he whispers.

Felicity shakes her head in Ollie chest before pulling away.

"I really must love you if I missed you after only a few hours." Felicity mumbles to herself but they all hear it.

Ollie looks at Felicity with wide eyes.

"I'm taking her home." Ollie announces with a possessive tone in his voice.

Ollie looks over at her and Thea gives him a small smile.

Thea knows tomorrow Felicity won't remember any of this but they will and there is no chance in hell that Ollie will forget it. They will all remember the night Felicity got drunk and told Ollie she loved him even if she never finds out she said it.


End file.
